The Worst Habit In The World

OK, so I have a bad habit. I'm a stress smoker. And I find lots of reasons to stress, so I smoke. Only at work...but still...I smoke.

Now, as a smoker I know the risks. It killed both my parents. I don't need to be lectured.

But today I resolve to stop. The stopping is not hard for me. It's pretty easy in fact. I don't go through withdrawal or anything...and I don't really miss it.

The hard part for me will be in a few weeks when I'm nice and clean...and stress hits. I can't even imagine what peak is going to be like in my warehouse. Stressful.

So my resolution is that when I stress I don't smoke.

We shall see how easy it will be. If I'm to run a marathon smoking has to go. If I'm to live longer then my dad, smoking has to go.

So today is the first day. We shall see.

Marathon

So this has been a pretty trying week for me. I didn’t get a job I really wanted and was very qualified for…work has been overwhelming busy (six days a week, 10 hours a day), and I’ve been pretty negligent as a husband and father.

But this weekend Sydney and I had a chance to go downtown just to hang out. We pretty much ended up in the middle of the Columbus Marathon.

We sat in Goodale Park drinking slushies and watching the runners go by. These weren’t the competitive runners. These were the recreation runners nearing the six hour mark on the course.

After a while we relocated to the finish line. It was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. To watch these people cross the finish line…one of the most incredible accomplishments for them. Men and women breaking down in tears, knowing that they can call themselves “marathoners”. That really is a select group.

Syd watched me with tears on my face, not really understanding why this was so powerful to me. Honestly, I’m not sure I can even answer that. As we watched the runners cross the line, with friends and family running the last few hundred yards with them she said “I want to run across the finish line with you.”

What excuse do I have for not granting her that wish? I can run. I can run far. I trained for the Okinawa Marathon years ago and did a long run of twenty miles around Camp Schwab. And I assure you that was some hilly terrain. Columbus is flat as pancake. So I’m twenty years removed from that time. I can still run.

And more than anything…I want to do this for me. As an attainable goal, an attainable dream. I feel as of late I’ve been setting myself up for failure. Of putting all my eggs in one basket instead of trusting in myself and in others. This has certainly been a life long issue for me, and it really is time to let go. In so many ways.

So I’m going to train to run the marathon next year. For me. And for my kids. And my wife. I want this…and I’m going to make it happen.

Has it taken me forty years on this planet to come to this realization? Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

I think so.